No Strings Attached
by Hikari Minamoto
Summary: It's Valentine's Day, and Rin's dying of a broken heart though nothing's clinically wrong with her. She says there's nothing tying her to this life, but Kakashi won't let her go so easily as that. "All I want is for you to stay..." he said. ONESHOT.


**Title:** No Strings Attached

**Author:** Hikari Minamoto

**Rating: **T

**Summary:** It's Valentine's Day and Rin's dying of a broken heart. What's to be done when there's nothing clinically wrong with her? She says that there's nothing tying her to this life any more, but Kakashi won't let her go as easily as that.

**Disclaimer:** Duh I don't own Naruto.

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_Her breath is growing weak,_

_It's getting hard to see._

_She knows not how it happened,_

_Or this came to be._

_- -_

_  
And she's sorry,_

_So sorry,_

_That she couldn't be __**stronger**__…_

_For you._

_- -_

_But now,_

_Finally,_

_She can become completely_

_Free._

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_It's almost Valentine's Day…_ Rin mused while coughing wetly into her blanket.

Beside her hospital bed, Kakashi winced, knowing full well how much each breath pained her. She wanted to die – to just "get it over with". She wanted to rid herself of pain, but he knew better than that. Kakashi knew that Rin would not die. She would not die because he would not let her.

"Kakashi?"

A steely eye rose to meet her soft brown ones. "Hm?" the young Jounin replied with mild disinterest.

"What are you doing? I thought…" – here, Rin paused to gasp for another breath – "I thought you…were on duty tonight. You should get some sleep before your shift you know."

He only shrugged and returned to reading his new book – "_Icha Icha Paradaisu_" Rin noticed specifically. She sighed, not willing to start an argument at the moment, but irritated that he'd be insensitive enough to read porn in front of her. Did he have no understanding of females past their physical "abilities"? Sensing her aggravation, Kakashi glanced up momentarily. "What's wrong?"

The girl shook her head and insisted "Nothing" in an effort to avoid conflict.

"Rin. Tell me what's wrong." It was definitely a demand now. She hated it when he got this way – when he was an ANBU instead of her friend; the cold, calculating, ever-resilient soldier he was on the battlefield.

Seeing no way to avoid this, Rin carefully replied: "Well, do you have to read that _here_?"

"Does it bother you?"

"A little."

Kakashi raised his exposed eyebrow tetchily. "Why?" he challenged in a childish manner.

His teammate groaned in response. "It just does, alright? If you want to read it, go home, but you're keeping people…" – she inhaled deeply once more – "…who _really_ want to visit me at bay."

"How?"

"Everyone's intimidated by you, and it's awkward to come in and see you reading that trash."

The Jounin huffed and only returned to his reading, but not before mumbling, "It isn't trash."

Rin utterly gave up at that point and flopped back onto the bed, readjusting herself onto the pillows so her chest wouldn't ache so badly. The doctors had told her that this was merely a severe case of fatigue – no need to be overly concerned.

But Rin knew better. She was a medic too, wasn't she?

"Kakashi?"

Silence. She knew he was ignoring her at this point, but it didn't deter her from saying what needed to be said. "Kakashi, I know this might be…" – pause for breath – "…a bit odd, but will you make sure my stuff is...donated?"

That did it. The Jounin snapped his book shut and glared daggers at the poor girl. "What did you say?" he demanded, voice dangerously low.

"Like Sensei's boy, for example," she continued. "At least I'd be able to do something for him th—"

"_Rin_!!" She shut up instantly, but avoided his gaze. The girl knew he didn't want to hear these kinds of things, but it wouldn't do either of them any good to stay in denial. "You're going too far now. Stop being so over-dramatic about this – the doctor said you were going to be fine so I wish you'd stop acting like you're about to die." Kakashi narrowed his eye threateningly. "You want them to come back and run some more tests so you can see for yourself that you're fine?"

Rin sighed a burdened sigh. "No…" she told him without emotion. "That's alright."

The young Jounin had risen to his feet as she spoke, tucking his book safely inside his supply pouch just as she finished. "Then stop saying things like that," he said as he promptly exited, pausing just by the doorframe to add "You really worry me when you do".

_Well, that was sweet…_, she thought to herself before hitting disappointment. So Kakashi wasn't willing to listen. But Rin had known it'd be like this all along. She'd known he wouldn't accept it – couldn't accept it. And it was all because of that damn promise he'd made to Obito.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"…So?"

"'So' what?"

"So what's going on? Are you gonna get better or are you just kinda…you know…waitin' to see what happens?"

Rin smiled softly at her friend's concern, too tired to do much more. "Anko…I just…" She trailed off quietly, trying to find the right words while catching her breath. "I'm not sure."

The other girl looked depressed. "Aw, c'mon, Rin! No way! You're kidding me, right? I mean seriously – you've gone through so much. You ain't givin' up on us now, are ya'?"

Rin only entered another coughing fit in reply, one which lasted almost two minutes in totality. The end results were bloodstained sheets and a breathless kunoichi. Anko was clearly scared. "I-I'm…I'm gonna get the doctor…" she stammered, bolting out the door in somewhat of a daze. What was happening to her friend? Rin watched her go, wishing she could have resisted the last attack a few moments more. She really hated having people watch that. It only made her feel more helpless than she already was.

"I don't understand it…" the doctor muttered when he finally arrived. "I just…don't understand. This is supposed to be a case of fatigue, but now…now I have no idea what this is."

"Well, you better fix her, Goddamnit!!" shouted Anko. "You don't 'suppose' anything anymore! Run some tests or _something_ for crying-friggin-out-loud!" she ordered, as if she really knew what could be done.

"Anko…please…" Rin pleaded in a small voice. "It's not his fault."

The louder kunoichi pursed her lips for the moment, trying to accommodate her sick friend. "Well, I still say something needs to be done. And where the hell is Kakashi? Shouldn't he be here? I mean – hell, he's your _teammate_."

The other shook her head slowly. "He's on duty so it's okay. He was here earlier anyways."

Anko rolled her eyes in disgust. "Rin, you seriously need to get over that guy. Yeah, he's a prodigy and all, but is he really someone who cares for you?"

Rin's silence and bruised expression was enough of an answer.

"See?! You can't even say anything!"

"He's just…subtle," she protested weakly. "I'm sure he cares something for me. And even if he didn't…" – she tried catching her breath – "…I know he tries. For Obito's sake." Anko shook her head, muttering something about getting Kurenai to talk some sense into Rin. "Really, Anko. It's fine," Rin managed to say. "Everything…is fine."

Yes, fine. Everything was fine. Rin knew it was a blatant lie, but in an effort to placate the fears she'd created, well…it was for the best. She didn't want anyone to worry about her. She didn't want anyone to burden themselves for her sake because she'd already been enough of a burden. Well, not anymore. If dying alone was what it took to be strong…then she'd do it. She'd do it and she'd smile all the while.

"Hmph, well I'm still visiting tomorrow just to make sure." Anko gave Rin a mischievous grin as she headed out the door, waving as she left. The latter smiled her thanks, unable to speak now because the doctor had invaded her mouth with a large Popsicle stick. This was exactly why she hated being a patient.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Voices…

She heard voices. They sounded faint at first…where were they coming from? What were they saying?

"She must _want_ to recover! We can't just force her to live – don't you understand!?"

"Yes, you _can_! Pump her full of antibiotics, feed her through a tube – I don't care, but don't tell me 'there's nothing to be done'. Nobody dies '_just_ _because'_."

"In your line of work, Ookami-san, that would be correct. However, this is not your line of work now, is it?"

"What are you saying?"

"I am almost sixty years old, Ookami-san. I have worked in many, many hospitals and dealt with thousands of patients. That is why I can stand here and assure you that yes – people do, in fact, _die_ of broken hearts…"

Rin let the voices fade out at this point. Maybe it was all a bad dream… However, a strangled plea to "stop" drove all drowsiness from her head. Her deeply brown eyes studied the door, wondering if she should struggle out of bed or wait to see what was going on. She didn't need to wait long for her answer. An ANBU suddenly flung open the door and stormed over to her bed, obviously perturbed though she could see no expression upon his face. Judging by the mask, Rin determined that this was most definitely Kakashi. She'd seen that mask several times already, so it was easy to guess. "What's going on?" she asked quietly. "Why were you shouting just now?"

The ANBU leaned close to her face, making the girl fidget uncomfortably. "What's _really_ wrong with you, Rin? Will you die on your comrades, just like that? Just like that imbecile predicts?"

She tried to avoid the painted eyes – it always frightened her to look at them. "You said yourself," she began dully, remembering to keep Kakashi's true identity undisclosed. "No one dies 'just because'."

The masked figure gave a curt nod at her reply, seemingly satisfied for the time being. "Good. Perhaps you should have a word with the doctor then. Maybe talk some sense into that thick head of his." He then made a few hand signs and in result, disappeared in a puff of smoke. What the hell? What was _that_ all about? Since when did Kakashi make hospital visits during shifts? This thoroughly puzzled the young girl.

Rin struggled to suppress one of her increasingly frequent coughing fits so she could call for said doctor. The aging man hurried in, eyes darting about nervously. She figured he was still wary about the ANBU who'd just visited. "Rin-san? What's the matter?"

"Please…please don't tell anyone about me. _Please_…" she pleaded. "Everyone already worries enough. And you saw how Ookami-san reacted when he heard. I'm afraid someone might be more drastic next time."

The doctor sighed and adjusted his spectacles before he spoke. "Then what am I supposed to do? You _yourself_ know that nothing's clinically wrong with your body. What am I supposed to tell them?"

"Don't tell them anything." Rin struggled into a sitting position so she could look the doctor squarely in the eyes. "Let me go home. Let them think I've recovered."

"You know I can't do that," he objected firmly. "It would be irresponsible to just discharge you in this condition."

The girl made a few hand signs, which resulted in green chakra to surround her hands. "I can heal my body enough so that if someone visits, it will appear as if I'd never been sick."

"Still—"

"Please…" Her eyes were begging now. "If nothing's clinically wrong, what can you really do for me?"

The doctor opened his mouth to retort once more, but was forced to shut it. Rin was right. There really was nothing to be done for her. Her sickness…there _was_ no "sickness". The blood she choked up came from seemingly nowhere. There was no internal bleeding, no stomach ulcer, nothing. And her ever-weakening state? Her heart and lungs were perfectly healthy. She had no signs of cancer. Rin was statistically one of the healthiest kunoichi in all of Konoha, but here she lay dying… all because she had lost her will to live.

"Fine," he managed to rasp out hoarsely. "If that's what you want. Rin-san, there's still hope. You can get help."

The brunette kunoichi smiled and shook her head tiredly. She'd already determined this was what she'd wanted, but "Thank you anyways," she told him. He would never forget the look in her eyes as she said it.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The "recovery" party they threw for her was so over-the-top, Rin hadn't the heart to tell any of her friends anything close to the truth. She was sure they'd take it quite hard – especially Gai and Anko. After being retrieved from Orochimaru's clutches, Rin had been the one to comfort Anko – truly befriend her when the rest of the village kept their distances. As for Gai, well…he'd proclaimed his undying love for her the moment they'd met. "The Fated Day" he called it. Though she'd gently turned him down many times, the bushy-browed boy was set on becoming her boyfriend. She wouldn't be so cruel as to tell them she'd die within the year.

"Thank you all, so much. I am truly grateful," she said tearily. "I won't ever forget this. Not as long as I live."

Rin wasn't surprised that Kakashi failed to show up. He was probably on another mission after all. Ahh…so maybe that's why he'd stopped by in full ANBU regalia. He'd decided to check up on her before he took another of those longer missions. Typical.

As she walked home from Anko's apartment to her own, Rin contemplated telling Kakashi that things might not work out. But then again…she just didn't have the heart to do it. _I'm so frail…_ she thought wretchedly. _I can't even work up the nerve to do this one thing. This one simple thing! _Feeling another violent fit approaching, the girl hurried onwards – intent on keeping her secret safe from the world. She would not let them know, not yet. No, not quite yet.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"What the hell is this?"

Rin looked somewhat hurt for a moment, but brightened again as if he'd just complimented her. "They're called _chocolates_, silly! It's Valentine's Day, remember? I made them myself, so go ahead – try one! They're good, I promise. Besides, you deserve something nice after being gone a whole week."

The silver-haired boy stared at the sweets skeptically, as if they were unsafe. After an intensive moment, he gingerly took one, pulled down his mask, and promptly devoured it. It took a few minutes of chewing before he let out a careful, "Hm."

"What do you mean 'hm'?" she prodded. "Do you not like it?"

He seemed thoughtful as he replaced his mask. "Well…" he began slowly. "It's not that. I do like it, but I could have sworn you've made these before."

She nodded. "When we were first put on the same team, I made some…but you said you hated chocolate, and Obito ate himself sick. So I never made them again."

"Oh." Kakashi looked down and noticed she was holding two more little packages. "Who are those for?" he asked tonelessly, pretending to be completely indifferent as he changed the subject.

Rin followed his gaze. "Oh, these?" she asked with a smile. "Well, one's for Gai and the other's for Obito." The Jounin looked surprised, so she decided to explain a little further. "I just thought I'd leave them at the Memorial Stone…they were his favorites you know. He always begged me to make them, but after that first time…I knew he had no self-control. Now I just…I wish I _had_ made them for him."

Kakashi sensed that this could get ugly; so again, he decided to change the subject. "How is your health?"

"Better…" she lied mechanically, staring hard at her shoes. "The doctor said that it really was fatigue, and that I just need to watch my hours. No more than thirty a week for now."

"Good," he replied. But Kakashi didn't fail to notice her unusual behavior. "Was that all?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

Rin looked irritated, which further raised the Jounin's suspicions. "Yes, Kakashi. I'm sure. Now if you don't mind, I need to go give these to Gai before he kills himself training."

He watched her leave, calculating her chakra level with cold precision. Kakashi would find out, one way or the other, what exactly was going on with Rin…because something was definitely wrong with her.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Rin?"

Kakashi stood just outside her door, hand poised to knock. However, the violent sound of coughing had frozen him solid. "Rin, open up," he demanded, masking the worry in his voice with indifference. After getting no response, the Jounin braced himself and kicked hard near the handle. After breaking it, he shoved the door open with ease, only to find a scene so shocking, he could hardly respond. "R-Rin?!"

The girl he'd seen only an hour ago, the girl who'd been perfectly healthy to untrained eyes, the girl who'd lied through her teeth… Rin shuddered violently against her wall, nail marks scarring the plaster with their ugly lines. Blood was everywhere. Fresh blood, dried blood, blood stains…everywhere. She was weakly making hand seals now, attempting to heal herself. Attempting to hide the truth though he was staring it dead in the face.

"Rin!"

The girl ignored him, continuing to send the soothing jade chakra through her broken chest.

"Rin – answer me!" he ordered, marching over to her.

"What?! What…do you want, Ka…Kaka…" She suddenly looked sick to her stomach – the healing aura dissipating now. He thought she was going to say something, but Rin only whirled around, dropped to her hands and knees, and began retching up more blood.

Kakashi, for one of the few times in his life, looked scared out of his wits. "Oh God, Rin please. Rin, stop…_stop_! Please, Goddamnit…oh God, this can't…this can't be happening." He'd rushed to her side and was now pressing her against his chest, rocking her back and forth in an attempt to soothe her. "Please, Rin. Please stop!" he pleaded desperately, feeling the warmth of fresh blood beginning to soak through to his skin. She was losing too much. At this rate, she'd die right here and now.

After a moment, Rin did cease to bleed (much to Kakashi's relief). The girl gasped for air as she clung to her teammate, afraid to let go lest she relapse into another fit. "Kakashi…" she whispered frailly. "W-What…are you doing…here?"

The boy drew her closer to him, afraid that she might die if left on her own for even a moment. This was what he'd been afraid of. Why hadn't she told him? "I'm taking you back to the hospital. They should never have discharged you in the fir—"

"Kakashi."

He paused and looked down at his teammate. God – why was she so feeble? Why was she so sick?

"I asked to be discharged."

"You _what_?!" he hissed, anger quite apparent in his good eye.

"The doctor…he can't do anything for me. Why would I want to stay there?"

"But you're clearly sick!"

"I have severe stress cardiomyopathy. All it is is stress."

"They can give you medicine. Therapy!"

Rin looked hurt, but her eyes remained locked on his. "Don't you think I'd have tried that if it worked? Medicine will only worsen my condition."

"It's hard to get much worse than you are right now," Kakashi retorted bitterly. "What's wrong with you, Rin? You…you have to get better."

The girl sighed, burying her face deep in his shoulder – searching for any extra warmth he could provide. How often had Kakashi held her like this? Once. Only once before…and that was shortly after Obito had died. She'd attended the memorial service with dark circles under her eyes – eyes that were completely blank and devoid of any emotion. But afterwards…when it was just Team 7 left together, standing there at the altar… Rin had broken. Kakashi had seen her cry before, and he'd always told her to stop. But today…today he only held her close and let her weep into his shoulder. After that, she'd found her comfort in their teacher…until he was no longer around to offer it. Now it was only Kakashi left, and he needed her too. She could feel it in the way he spoke just now, in the way he let his fingers lightly run across her back. Yes, Kakashi was human enough to want comfort just as she did.

"Will you…will you stay here? Just for a little while longer?" Rin asked tentatively, her arms slowly entwining themselves about his frame. She didn't want to let him go just yet. This little bit of tenderness he'd shown her…it was already proving to be good medicine. The ache in her chest was subsiding and would be gone in a matter of moments. _Please stay with me…_

Kakashi felt overwhelming weak when she asked him like that – touched him like this. He felt helpless, and he didn't like it one bit. Yet, all he could say was "Sure."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Awww…c'mon, Rin! _Tell_ me!!"

Rin frowned at Anko's incessant whining. She'd been nagging at her for almost two hours straight, and frankly Rin was ready to scream. "Anko, please. I already told you – _nothing_ happened, so please stop asking me!" she sighed heavily, managing to keep her wits about her for the moment.

The other kunoichi made a pouty face and huffed loudly, insisting that "something" always happens when a boy spends the night. She could speak from experience since she'd – ahem – had quite a few "sleepovers" herself. Rin rubbed lightly at her chest, ignoring Anko's so-called advice that she'd begun to offer. It really wasn't something she was too interested in at the moment. Right now…right now she could go for some tea. Yes, tea…and a nice warm bed. Why was she so tired right now? Kakashi had indeed spent the night with Rin nestled neatly in his arms. In fact, it was the first good night's sleep she'd had in a long, long while, but right now…

_I'm so tired… maybe…_

"Rin?"

"Hm?"

"Were you even listening to me at all?"

"Of course!"

Anko put her hands on her hips, challenging Rin's claim. "Then what did I just say?"

"W-Well, you were talking about, uh, when guys spend the night, and you've got to…uh…"

"Go on."

"Uh…" Rin really had no idea what to say now. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry – I wasn't paying attention."

The other groaned loudly in irritation. "See?! This is what I'm talking about! You're so out of it – I thought you were getting better, but it's even worse than when you were friggin' hospitalized!"

"Sorry, sorry! I'll try harder, promise!"

"I swear – are you _sure_ nothing happened last night? I mean…you look exhausted. And Kakashi seems pretty able-bodied, ya know…"

Rin's face flushed a peculiar shade of pink as Anko continued on about Kakashi and his "potential". "S-_Stop_ it!" she practically shrieked just as her friend got down to the gritty details of it all. "W-We've never…I mean, really now…and why in the world?!" she stammered out hoarsely. "Kakashi would _never_ do something like that!!"

Anko smirked. "Maybe he wouldn't…but would _you_? Seriously. If you had the chance and if Kakashi got drunk enough…would you do it?"

Rin's memories jolted into reverse, to the night before. Yes, though she'd enjoyed sharing his warmth, she couldn't do it. She just couldn't. Not unless he wanted something like that too…and that was something she knew would never happen. Kakashi never had the time for romantic flings, let alone serious relationships. And even if he did…Rin was positive that she wouldn't ever be part of his life. The only thing keeping them tied together was that promise he'd made. That promise he'd made to Obito. That was it, and that's all that there'd ever be. No strings attached – that's the kind of person he was.

A new voice pulled her back into Reality. "Rin? What are you doing out here? You know the cold isn't good for you." Well, speak of the Devil himself…

The girl looked up to see her teammate standing just at her side. Since when had Kakashi gotten here? Damn – she must _really_ be out of it…to have not even noticed him until he spoke? How shameful. How dare she call herself a proper kunoichi?

"Good morning, Kakashi," was all she said, hiding her bitterness with expertise.

Anko grinned from ear to ear as she surveyed the "couple". "_Weeeell_, I'd hate to be a third wheel, so…I'll just leave you two alone." Rin sighed as her friend scampered off. That girl was so damn stubborn sometimes.

The boy ignored Anko's departure, Rin being his main subject of interest at the moment. "I thought you'd _try_ to get better. This isn't trying."

She shrugged indifferently. "Does it really matter? I'm perfectly fine right now." The girl struggled to suppress another of her bloody coughs as she spoke. Kakashi wouldn't win so easily as that.

"No – we're going inside now."

Rin grimaced irritably. Why was he treating her like a child? A child that needed constant attention nonetheless? "I want a bit more fresh air."

Her comrade frowned, his steely eye narrowing slightly at her childish obstinacies. "Rin, you're going inside. You're still sick, or have you forgotten?" he asked, grabbing her arm firmly.

She jerked it away and took two steps back. "Stop telling me what to do, Kakashi. I can take care of myself."

"No, you can't! If you were competent enough to care for yourself, you wouldn't be _dying_ right now."

"I'm not dying!"

"Then what did I walk in on last night? You don't call that dying?! Are you mad?"

"Just shut up! I don't need you to lecture me like this!" she shouted angrily. Passerbies began to stop and stare now at all the commotion these two were making.

"You _do_ need a lecture because you're just a spoiled child! You're a spoiled child throwing a temper tantrum. 'Oh…poor me. I need attention'," he mocked. "Would you just grow up?!"

Tears began to form at the corners of her eyes now; hurt leaked onto the dirt road like spilt water. "Y-You…think I'm doing all this for…_attention_?!"

Kakashi folded his arms, his voice dropping to sub-artic temperatures. "What other explanation is there? You really expect me to believe this is all 'stress-induced'? Please. Quit lying to everyone. Admit the truth and be an adult already."

Rin had never been so hurt in all her life. Battle wounds didn't even have the same sting as his words did – not even close. "B-Bastard…" she sobbed, not caring if everyone could see her cry.

"You're pathetic. I have no idea why Obito liked you so much. What would he think if he knew that you were going around, lying about—?"

_SLAP!_

The crowd gasped then stood in stunned silence.

"You…_fucking_…bastard. I hate you…_I __**HATE**__ YOU_!!" she screamed suddenly into the void of quiet. "How dare you bring Obito into this?! Who the hell do you think you are? Don't you think I've suffered enough because of his death? Don't you think I hurt because of your fucking promise?! _Don't you?!?_"

Kakashi tried to recover from the shock. "R-Rin—"

"Just leave me alone – don't you dare show your face near me ever again! I swear to God, I'll get a restraining order if you do." Her face was pallid and ghost-like. The Jounin had never seen her so angry before in all his life – did Rin even get angry? Ever?

"I-I'm sorry; I didn't mean it…"

"You know…" Her voice was icy, distant. She'd changed into a completely different person right before his eyes. Just like that – she wasn't Rin anymore. "I used to value your opinion. Now, it's less than trash. I hope you enjoy being alone, Kakashi, because one can only try so hard to love you. You thought I was a dog, didn't you? A dog that'd follow you around blindly – loving you no matter what you did to it… you can only kick a dog so many times before it abandons its master. But…" Rin's voice trembled slightly, but her eyes were flashing with Hellish firelight. "I've taken beating upon beating, much more than any dog would take, and I've not said a word – not once. But now…this is the last straw. Consider me dead, and I'll gladly do the same for you."

Kakashi could only watch as she staggered away now, severely weakened by the amount of stress he'd just put on her. He felt like the biggest ass in the world, and had no idea how to fix this problem he'd just created. "Way to go, Hatake…" he muttered under his breath. "You really did deserve every word of that."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One week flew by, then another…

Rin saw nothing of Kakashi, nor did she wish to. Not really… Her coughing had become more frequent, and it was only by the grace of God she hadn't vomited herself to death several times now. Vision failing, strength fading, drifting in and out of consciousness…She was only waiting now for the attack that would finally kill her. Put her out of her misery.

But Rin would not die in such a pathetic way.

That's why she stood here – before the Hokage. "I would like to be assigned a mission, Hokage-sama," she said timidly. "Please."

"Rin, Kakashi has told me about your…illness. It would not be wise to put too much strain on your failing body."

"Please," she insisted quietly. "I wish to be useful…to the bitter end if need be. The knowledge that I am no longer a functioning member of Konoha – this alone is enough to kill someone who's been so loyal, Hokage-sama. Will you not show mercy? If strain on my body is something you are wary of, assign me genin-rank missions. I will not complain nor will I be humiliated."

The village leader looked thoughtful for a moment as he considered all possible variables – weighing out the pros and cons of every possible situation. "Well…I suppose a C-rank could not be too weighing on your health."

Rin's grateful smile pained his heart greatly. Who knew she could look so…sad, even in _happiness_? "Thank you, Hokage-sama! I will never forget your kindness." The girl stood at attention now. "So, when shall I head out?"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Ah, um…Rin-chan?"

She smiled down sweetly at the little boy…the little Uchiha boy she'd been charged with. "Yes, Norio-kun? Is something wrong?"

He squeezed her hand a little tighter, almost afraid to let go. "Are we almost there yet? My legs hurt."

Rin laughed a little at his truly child-like words. It was cute. "We've still got a way to go, but…" she added quickly, noticing his despair. "Would you like a piggy-back 'til we get there?"

The little boy grinned at the proposition (Rin was sure his face would split if he smiled any wider) and let out an excited "Yes, please!"

As she hoisted him up, the kunoichi could swear that she'd gotten weaker. This child couldn't be more than fifty pounds…and she could barely lift him. Determined to complete the mission, however, Rin remained silent and struggled onwards despite her trouble. Her mind chewed over the papers she'd finished, the documents she left behind. Yes, everything was in order... Her possessions would be donated to whoever needed those most, her assets transferred and divided amongst the least fortunate, her apartment sold and the profits given to her Sensei's boy. Yes... Rin took a deep breath. And the picture – yes, the one she'd treasured so highly, the one she'd slept with under her pillow, the one she'd faded with her tears...that she'd left to Kakashi. Her affairs were in order now. Rin had left Konoha's gates with the knowledge that it'd be the last time she'd walk through them alive. Even if this wasn't a dangerous mission, her time to die had come. The girl was a wounded creature wandering off to find quiet seclusion for its last moments on earth.

Yes, Rin had known this all along.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

She waved goodbye to the child, their parting eminent now that he'd been delivered to his Auntie's house. She tried to smile at his tears, ensuring that everything would be alright now. Yet Rin couldn't help but feel terribly cruel when she refused to say "I'll see you again, so don't cry." The girl wouldn't lie to this child. Not like this. She'd already lied to her dearest friend...well, ex-friend. She'd lied to everyone actually.

As Rin meandered down the road, her sepia irises refused to focus properly. A soggy cough knifed the silence over and over until her body couldn't take it anymore. The kunoichi tried to laugh at herself, but it hurt too much to do so. How cliché. How fucking cliché. Dying of a broken heart...how pathetic she felt. At the very least her death could have been funny. Why couldn't she have tripped and drowned in a puddle? Why couldn't a piano have fallen on her as she walked to the hospital day after day? Why? Why _this_ way? This was part of the reason Rin wouldn't let anyone know how bad she'd gotten. They'd all laugh at her, wouldn't they? Cliché – that's what she was. That's what her whole life was. The weakling – hopelessly in love with the unattainable warrior, loved by a child-hood friend who'd admitted it too late...the weakling now losing her sanity and dying of a broken heart. Rin hated herself. She hated that she couldn't break free from her fucking stereo-typed life. She hated that she couldn't be strong for Kakashi when he'd sworn to protect her through life and death. What could she do for him in return? Nothing. She was useless – a broken tool that only did more damage than good.

A sudden realization dawned on the girl. Today was White Day, wasn't it? She always visited Obito on White Day just like on Valentine's Day, his birthday, and Christmas. Rin cursed quietly, eyes watering from both disappointment and physical pain. _I'm sorry, Obito...I wish I could have been stronger for you...But maybe we'll get to see each other in person instead, ne? Would you like that? _She smiled up at the black sky. Looked like rain again – of course. Dying in the rain was a "must". Seriously though, how much more unoriginal was this going to get? Cursing her fate, the girl finally was forced to sit down at the base of a large willow tree standing guard over its small pond. As the heavy droplets began to fall through the thunderous curtains overhead, Rin herself began to weep with the sky. She didn't want to die. Not like this. She didn't want to be alone at the very end. Obito had had to be alone, and she had always hated herself for doing that to him. She wished she would have stayed and died with him back in the Rock country. Not like this – not a few miles outside of Konoha. The kunoichi knew this was weakness now, wishing she could see her friends just one last time... pathetic. That's what Kakashi would call it, right? And yet...

_I wish...I wish I could have seen you. Just once. Just once more so I could tell you I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Kakashi. I'm sorry..._

Strangely enough, Rin realized she could no longer feel her legs. Her soft brown eyes widened in fear, and she struggled to suppress the scream rising steadily in her throat. The tears were falling faster as the numbness steadily gained ground. Everything in her mind protested this invasion, but what was to be done? Her chakra levels were and had been at near-zero levels for the past few weeks. If she tried to heal herself now, it'd finish her. Talk about a lose-lose situation. Wait...she'd call for help. Who'd care if she looked completely incompetent? The girl opened her mouth, mustering her last shreds of strength to call out for whoever would listen, and screamed. But of course, who'd hear those dying shrieks in this God-forsaken weather? The wind carried her pleas away with a brutality unknown to mankind, the rain ripped them to bits, and the thunder laughed aloud at her misfortune. Rin couldn't understand why the gods would be so cruel as this.

_This pain...my chest hurts so badly. I...can't breathe..._

She clutched at her heart, realizing that this could be it. These were her last moments, her last breaths.

_Not yet...I can't die yet. Kakashi. What about Kakashi?! _

Rin threw her head back and poured out all sorrows and hurts, letting her sobs escape her freely. What had happened? Just yesterday she'd wanted this, but now...she'd forgotten about her remaining teammate. This was pure selfishness – dying on her own. Hadn't she realized that Kakashi would be pained because of this? Because of her? Didn't she know how many times he'd wanted to die as well? Couldn't she understand this from that night when he'd held her close, when he'd almost broken right before her eyes? He needed her, yet here she was. Dying without him. Rin hadn't even had the decency to tell Kakashi. Maybe, maybe through some strange twist of Fate...maybe the promise that tied them together, perhaps it was strong enough...No. Rin shook her head. That was delusional. The promise could never have been strong enough. If only they had had another tie...she might be saved.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The ANBU cell moved quickly and silently through the woods, mere shadows in the night rain. Their task was completed and the time to return home had finally come. A certain wolf-masked shinobi paused in mid-stride which caused the head shinobi to halt the entire procession.

"Ookami. Report – what's wrong?"

The wolf shook his head slightly. "It's...I thought I heard someone not too far back. Seventy degrees westerly to be specific."

A bird stepped forward now. "Did anyone get a chakra reading on that?"

The group shook their heads in silence, but Kakashi couldn't let go so easily as that. Something felt wrong – most definitely wrong. "Requesting permission to perform an individual investigation, sir," he said dryly to the commander.

The head sighed heavily, knowing how Kakashi could get sometimes. "Fine, but only because we're within the immediate area of Konoha. Perform your investigation, then return - ASAP. Got that, soldier?"

The wolf nodded, watching as they disappeared once more into the darkness. Well, time to go see who was back here... It took some time to retrace his steps since it was pitch black out here and raining buckets of water. But then something caught his attention. Was someone...crying? "I'm sorry, Kakashi," the voice sobbed. "I'm so sorry..."

_Rin..._

Kakashi flew to the sound source, heart pounding wildly, only to find his teammate slumped at the base of this willow tree. Her whole front was dark with blood – how long had she been out here like this?!

"Rin?! Rin, answer me!" he demanded hoarsely, pulling her into his ANBU cloak to protect her from the rain. "Rin!"

The girl drew in a deep breath, struggling to breath, and feebly tried to open her eyes. Her head was swimming but...oh, God. It was those eyes! Those Satanic beady eyes! So she'd died. She'd died and gone straight to Hell. "I deserve this..." she moaned into his chest.

Kakashi stared hard at Rin. "No, you don't. Don't talk like that," he told her.

Rin, too weak to cough, began choking on the blood forcing itself up her tired throat. The ANBU watched helplessly as it leaked out the corners of her mouth and dribbled down her neck. Her eyes were glazed over. Her body was limp. He immediately hoisted her up in his arms and took off towards the hospital. Screw orders. Rin was what mattered right now, and he wasn't about to make the same mistake twice in this lifetime. "Ka...shi..." he heard her mumble.

"Hang on, Rin. We'll be there soon. Don't die on me, alright?"

She tried to smile through the pain for him. "I'm sorry...I...didn't mean it."

"Apologies can come later – after you're better, alright?"

"What if...there isn't a 'later'?"

He tried to ignore that last comment, but it had cut him deeply. Kakashi felt the sting of tears in both eyes because of it. No. There was no way. Rin couldn't die. She wouldn't die, because he wouldn't let her...right? There it was – the hospital looming just ahead of them now.

"Rin," he pleaded hoarsely as he flew through the doors. "Please..._please_ live."

Nurses began filing out like ants, fussing and worrying about poor Rin. They pulled her away from him, strapped her to a bed, and began shouting for IV's, surgeons, sedatives, the works. "Ka...shi..." she whimpered, trying to reach for him. "Don't let...them take me. We...won't..."

_No. Don't. Don't say it._

"...ever see...each other again..."

Kakashi thanked the gods that he still had his ANBU mask on to hide the tears. "I'll see you in a little bit. Promise." And yet...he couldn't help but feel a terrible unease as they carted her away. _Would_ he ever see Rin again? Only time would tell. Perhaps he should have told her just now. Perhaps he should have apologized, begged for her forgiveness...told her how deeply he cared. But now...it might be too late.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"I...got you something."

"Really?"

"Yeah, well...don't expect too much."

Sepia irises brightened as he held out a little box to her. "You didn't have to you know," the girl protested.

"I know."

Rin slowly took the gift, admiring the mahogany ribbon he'd added on top. Maybe she'd save these for her hair; they were a perfect match to her tattoos after all. As the gift shed its wrapping, Rin could only stare at what lay in the box. A...red string? The girl held it in her palm, unsure as to what she was supposed to do with this now. "T-Thank you, Kakashi!" she sputtered out. "I love it."

He rolled his eye dramatically as she went on and on about how she'd treasure it forever. "Rin, stop. I know you don't know what the hell it is."

She nodded sheepishly, waiting for his explanation.

Kakashi only took the string from her and gently tied it around her wrist – careful to not tie it too tight. She noticed how tenderly he touched her, how lightly he allowed his fingertips to brush across her skin. What was all of this about? "Kakashi?"

Instead of backing away, the boy remained close to her side, his eyes averted in uncertainty. "This is...it's _our_ string. Well, it's a reminder at least."

Rin stared hard at the red lines wound around her wrist. Our string? What did he... "Kakashi, I-I don't get it."

"The promise – it's not the only string keeping us attached, alright? You're more than just a 'promise', more than an obligation. I just...I wanted you to know that."

The girl finally understood what he was telling her now. So she'd been wrong, had she? She'd thought their only tie had been because of Obito...but now, she wasn't so sure. Rin felt wetness gathering in her eyes and blurring her vision, so she wiped furiously at them in an attempt to stop the tears from flowing. God – why'd she always have to cry so damn much?

"T-Thank you, Kakashi..." she managed to say, her voice unsteady and hoarse. "I won't ever forget this."

He nodded, pocketing his hands in discomfiture. She could tell he wanted to say something, but probably felt it'd be too awkward now that she'd started bawling like a kid. Damnit – another perfect moment ruined because she'd been too weak. He probably still thought she was a complete moron...this was their first meeting since he'd found her lying there in the rain. And knowing Kakashi, he wouldn't have forgotten so easily as she might've hoped. Rin turned away, completely disgusted with herself at this point and struggling to hold back the flood that threatened to break through any moment now. But then surprise hit her hard. What? This warmth felt so amazingly good... "Ka-Kakashi?" she stammered. Why would he hold her like this? Didn't he know what she'd almost done to him? She didn't deserve it.

"It's alright if you want to cry," he mumbled into her hair. "It's alright if you can't be strong. All I want is for you to stay with me; I want you to stay. Obito has Sensei now. What will I do if _you_ leave too?"

"Kakashi..."

"I know it's selfish, but please don't go, Rin. Please don't."

She could hear the brokenness in his voice – it was the first time in a long while he'd shown her weakness, but she didn't mind in the least bit. "I have to...apologize, because I was going to. I wanted to be free again, Kakashi. You understand, don't you?"

He looked up at her with his good eye. "What are you saying? Do you still...Rin, no. Don't."

"I...forgot you, Kakashi." Rin bit her lip to steady her voice. "_I_ was the selfish one. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I would have left you alone..."

"But you're here now. You lived."

She nodded. "Yes..."

"And you'll stay, right?"

Rin smiled sadly as she lifted her hand to display the red string. "As long as this stays attached, you'll always have me. And you'll always be on my heart too," she added quietly. "I will never leave you alone."

Kakashi fought back the lump in his throat, trying to stay strong in front of her. "Thank you," he said gruffly, pulling her closer. "Thank you."

His teammate nodded. "Sometimes..." she supposed, "It's alright to be selfish. It's human to want comfort, Kakashi."

The boy closed his eyes. Yes – in this he'd be selfish. He'd be selfish and have no shame about it at all. He couldn't let her go just yet; he couldn't let her free. He'd be Rin's cage, and their string would be her lock. She wanted to rid herself of pain, but he knew better than that. Kakashi knew that Rin would not die. She would not die because he would not let her. No.

He would never let her die...

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- **End** -

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* * *

**Hullo, hullo. So this was supposed to be a Valentine's special, but then I forgot about it (I actually wrote it like two months ago!). So now it's a Valentine's/White Day special, okay? Erm, it was pretty...dark. Damn - it feels like that's all I write now! Well, geez. I'll try again later. Maybe I'll take a break from KakaxRin for a bit and work with another series or something; so that means you might not see me in this section for a while. This is a really long story and I apologize. It just kept coming out, I swear. **

**I left the ending a little..."loose", which means maybe a sequel could be in the works, but I dunno. We'll see if this story goes over well or not before my brain gets out of hand again.**

**So, that's it for now! Adios, loves! **

**- Hikari**


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